145 FIFM – The Stories You Tell Yourself Hold You Back

Every day, we tell ourselves stories. These stories could be excuses for not doing a particular thing or they could be reasons for doing something. Whatever the case may be, we all tell ourselves stories within the confines of our internal world.

Now, the danger lies in the fact that these stories we tell ourselves may not be true! And there is nothing more dangerous than believing something that is untrue all along.

Overview & Episode Content

  • Stories Can Hold You Back
  • Discovering the Stories Dean Tells Himself Through The Fact Map
  • Inspecting the Story You Tell Yourself. Is It True? Or Is It Harming You?
  • Stories are Powerful Enough To Cause You Action or Inaction
  • Growing Out of Being Held Back from Associating with People Way Ahead in Business
  • Why is Recognizing These Stories Important?

Stories Can Hold You Back

Stories Can Hold You Back

Recently, I have been doing what is called The Fact Map. It is from the Wake Up Warrior Gear that helps you create your 90-day goals. Part of The Fact Map is to look at facts of where you are.

These facts could be about your body, spirituality, family, or business. You determine the facts and feelings associated with these things in your life and where you want those things to be.

So, where are you at right now?

For me, I am supposed to weigh around 180 lbs. However, I weigh around 200 lbs. right now and technically overweight — at least according to military standards.

So, is this a bad thing, or a good thing? Well, it all depends. Right now, those are just the facts of where I am right now — without any judgments.

This is what makes The Fact Map so powerful. You look at the facts — where you are at and what you are doing. That is, in and of itself, is extremely powerful.

Why is this powerful?

A lot of times, we tell ourselves stories based on data. And those stories are exactly what holds us back from doing more, from doing what you should be doing, and from the freedom that you deserve.

Discovering the Stories Dean Tells Himself Through The Fact Map

Discovering the Stories Dean Tells Himself Through The Fact Map

As I was doing The Fact Map, one of the questions about data on my body was, “How many times do you lift weights per week?”

Now, I live up in the hills — I am literally the “countriest” country bumpkin without a country accent. I live in the hills of California and it takes me about forty minutes to get to the city and have access to the big gyms.

One of the stories I tell myself was, “Yeah, I have a membership at the small gym that we have up here but they only have machine weights.”

The entire time, for the last three years that I have been here, I have told myself a story. As I am doing this Fact Map, I realized that I have not lifted weights in a very long time.

And I don’t feel like going down all the way to the city just to lift. I do Jiu-Jitsu and enough cardio — I am all good! Why should I even bother when I’m already doing all the things that I need to do for my body?

And even though I have a membership in the small gym nearby, I am not going to lift weights up here because they only have machines. I believed that those would not do anything for me.

Interestingly enough, I caught myself in that story. I realized that I was telling myself a story and it might even be something that is untrue.

Inspecting the Story You Tell Yourself. Is It True? Or Is It Harming You?

Inspecting the Story You Tell Yourself. Is It True? Or Is It Harming You?

So, I started thinking about what I had just discovered. I decided to YouTube some videos about “results with machines versus free weights”.

Keep in mind, the reason I was so hell-bent on free weights is that I did a lot of CrossFit and lifting of free weights for most of my time in the military. That was just the “in thing”.

And on YouTube, I came across a video by a guy named Elliott Hulse about the difference between free weights and machines. One of the things he pointed out during his time of lifting, was the shift in trends.

Back in the day, machines for lifting weights were the “in” thing. Most people used machines back then. That was the thing to do because machines would target exactly what you needed to sculpt, shape, and build your body. Machines were the trend for getting stronger and fit.

It was at that point when I realized that I was definitely telling myself a story — that I needed free weights 45 minutes away; or that there is no good gym nearby; or that I had to have my own set here at home.

Obviously, I was telling myself a story.

Stories are Powerful Enough To Cause You Action or Inaction

Stories are Powerful Enough To Cause You Action or Inaction

Yesterday, I took control and went to the gym up here in the hills. And then, I started doing chest exercises and triceps exercises. 

To be fair, I did not do a ton because I knew I have not done much lifting at all and it is never good to overexert your muscles. But I did enough to get to complete muscle failure. So I did the bench press machine, the shoulder machine, the tricep rope pull, pull-ups, and other things.

Today, something interesting happened. My chest muscles hurt this morning! As I am recording this episode, my chest muscles are extremely sore! I literally had to laugh at the fact that for years, I have been telling myself this story that has paralyzed me when it came to any type of strength training.

It is funny, but scary at the same time.

It is funny because I literally could have just driven up to the gym up here on the hills and have done a great workout. Also, It is scary because it paralyzed me for years!

For years, it put me in a state of complete inaction when it came to something important for me.

This is the power of telling yourself these types of stories. And remember that this is only one of them. I have not even gone through the rest of the things that I am telling myself. This has happened several times in my life.

Growing Out of Being Held Back from Associating with People Way Ahead in Business

Growing Out of Being Held Back from Associating with People Way Ahead in Business

There is one story I tell myself that has held me back from associating with people who are of a higher caliber when it comes to business — and I thank God for friends like Matt who tell me that the stories I tell myself are freakin’ dumb.

I would always tell myself that I am not making enough. Yeah, I might be able to have all the time in the world, I might be able to work 4 hours a month, but I am not Inc. 500. I am not making these huge multi-million dollar profits.

And I used to tell myself those things, all of the time. It was not until I got a kick in the butt from some business friends who are making millions of dollars in revenue but were keeping just a little bit more than I was in profit.

They were looking at me and saying, “Dude, we’re making millions but you’re keeping more than we are. We’re working 40 to 50 hours per week. The story that you’re telling yourself is total crap. We would kill to have what you have.”

It took so long for me to accept that. Yet again, it was another story that held me back. It was not until I could see the story for what it was that I could associate with people who were “high caliber” and give a ton of value to them by helping them spend less time on stuff they do not need to focus on — which is huge for them!

Why is Recognizing These Stories Important?

Why is Recognizing These Stories Important?

So why is this important? It is important because you tell yourself stories as well. You are telling yourself about things that are not even true. We all do it.

The most important thing to do is to recognize when you are telling yourself a story. It might be a story about your belief in God, about your family and how your spouse is.

I know people who treat their spouses like crap because they think their spouse is their enemy. When in fact, their spouse is trying so hard to love them and does so much to show that love to them.

Stories that you tell yourself might be about business or personal views. Whatever it might be, you too are telling yourself a story. Sometimes it is a good story, sometimes it is bad.

The biggest thing is to look and recognize that it is just a story — nothing more. See that it is just something that you tell yourself about this piece of data. We all do it but once you recognize it, that’s when the power starts to change and shift.

A great way of doing just that is through prayer. And you do not need to be very loud about your prayers. Your prayer could be as simple as sitting in silence and looking at what you have been doing, asking God to reveal things to you.

Listen and look at what is going on. It is a never-ending process. But every time you do it, you grow.


This week, I challenge you to take some time to sit down and go through some of your facts wherever you are in life. Write down some of the things that are happening in your life.

Once you do that, you will start to see some of the stories that you tell yourself. It is really powerful and something that will let you realize just how much your internal world affects your external world.

Resources and Links

This is Dean Soto, your host of The Freedom In Five Minutes Podcast. Go check out FreedomInFiveMinutes.com and look for The Business Process Scorecard there and see how much time you are wasting — potentially. And how much time you could save on processes that you are doing.

We also have a masterclass. Go check out ProSulum.com. We have a four-video series there. We have had a lot of new customers at Pro Sulum. I am so excited to build a huge community of people who are literally getting back their freedom in five minutes a day.

They literally don’t have to do a particular task ever again and completely scale their business quickly and efficiently.if you want the same for your business, head over to ProSulum.com.

Check out this episode!